I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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