the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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