Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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