PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
