I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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