At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
