the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
