just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
