I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize