I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
