Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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