You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Fuck appropriateness.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
