allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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