Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
