FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
