he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
