the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If I die, sorry about rent.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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