Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
