addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
