I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
