I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize