I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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