I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
