i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
