that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
