Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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