he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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