ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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