When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
