"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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