Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
