i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
