well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize