Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
