We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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