Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
