At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
