He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
