Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
