I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize
