my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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