she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
