We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What a dumb baby whore.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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