I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
