im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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