the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
