Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
