do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
