My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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