im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
