She is in my trunk
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
