Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
