dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
