oh god the rape fog is back!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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