when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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