This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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